Quantum Zen

One thing that is absolutely essential for us seniors is to keep our brains active and engaged. The drooly nodding off in the easy chair after ingesting an enormous dinner is not only bad for your waistline but also does not do your brain much good either. Like our muscles, the brain needs a workout and the more energetic the better.
Anyone can make words with scrabble tiles or sit soporific in front of the TV, doing a jigsaw puzzle, but these are simply not going to keep your mind young and involved in the day-to-day hurly-burly around you.
So what SHOULD you direct the beams of your mental processes at these days?
Politics? No. This is even worse for your health than consuming a whole bag of marshmallows.
Art? Let's face it. If art were so great, the famous painters would not all be dead now, would they.
No. The sophisticated buzz these days is quantum physics! It's totally new, however, and like anything new – the remote control, for example – we seniors often have trouble getting our heads around it.
So today, I will explain quantum physics for you in an easy-to-understand, casual style for the layman.
First of all, I am sure you are asking, what exactly does "quantum" mean. This is an excellent question and shows that you are taking the first steps to engaging your brain in higher activity. In fact, there is some debate about the meaning of the word. Some have said that it is the name of a famous Native American tribal leader who posited that things could be both here and there at the same time.
Obviously this is confusing and while his idea was correct, it has come to light that he was eating WAY too much peyote, and since that is illegal, there is no way an important branch of physics would be named after him.
Actually, the word "quantum" (I am not making this up) is Latin for "how much". So if quantum physics helps us develop time machines, and you are transported back to ancient Rome, you already know an important tourist question!
"Quantum for this slave girl?"
So why are we asking "how much" about physics?
This is a question that has puzzled scientists for eons and it is only recently that answers are being revealed. You see, while "quantum" is Latin, "physics" finds its origins in Greek!
In ancient times scientists would go to a Roman store and ask "how much" for the physics, but the poor store keeper could only understand the "how much" part.

Scenario
Scientist: How much for physics.
Store Keeper: You wan slave girl?
Scientist: How much for physics?!
Store Keeper: Yes! Yes! We have... you musta come arounde in back!
Scientist (getting frustrated and shouting): Physics! Physics!
Store Keeper: I donno whata you wan!

And so on.
Nowadays however, scientists understand the two expressions better and realize the depths of their relationship.
Which brings us to the meat of this discussion. (Scientists think that the "meat" is the most important part.)
Scientists have come to understand that very tiny particles behave in very strange ways. One interesting point of quantum physics is called Schrödinger's cat which is basically that nothing happens until someone observes it. If nobody hears the tree falling in the forest, does it make a sound? The answer is no. It doesn't do ANYTHING until someone observes it.
What does Schrödinger's cat have to do with this? As any cat "owner" will tell you, cats have their own ideas about rules. You can tell them not to jump up onto the counter and lick the butter, but they might or might not listen to your admonition. So you cannot know whether they are jumping up and licking the butter in a closed room unless you watch them do it or see the results, disgusting track marks all over the butter.
All of this is confusing, and it is that experience that will strengthen your brain muscle – staying up at night and worrying about your cat or the sound of the tree falling in the forest. In fact, if you can imagine the sound of one hand clapping, you are well on your way to understanding quantum physics. Let that thought percolate through your head for one hour a day and your brain will be well exercised, keeping it vigorous and healthy.